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The 3 Star Traveler

Comfortably traveling the world on a budget, somewhere between hostel hopping and the lap of luxury.

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Advice from an Expat Who Hadn’t Planned to Be One

March 5, 2010 by Lori 7 Comments

Photos coming soon! When we re-launched The 3 Star Traveler we lost many of the original photos from posts. Lori is gradually working her way through past posts and uploading the photos once again. Check back soon!

One hundred and twenty-six.

Cathedral in Maringá, PR

Cathedral in Maringá, PR

That is the number of days since we left expat life and extended travel adventures to begin the process of repatriation. A process that continues with a long awaited move into a house last weekend and reverse culture shock moments which seem to build instead of lessen. In these past days I have had zero motivation or inspiration to write about expat life or travel in general.

I think I’ve been a bit lost. Lost and trying to figure out where I now fit in.

During the days of living in another country I was comfortably in my little corner of the travel world filled with ideas and blogging away.

Now? Well, now I wonder what I have left to offer that someone might be interested in reading.

Over the past week I’ve been asked for advice from friends who are considering the same move we made to Brazil three years ago. In our conversations I’ve realized that this is the first time I’ve had the opportunity to go deeper in evaluating how I’ve changed and the overall impact of the adventure

I tend to downplay what I have to offer regarding my expatriate experience. I constantly compare myself and time abroad to the expat experiences of others. I think – I should have done that, I should have had a better grasp of the language, or I should have traveled to that city. I worry about over generalizing the culture I was in or offending someone.

As I’ve had time to reflect, and as I’ve been asked for numerous pieces of advice as of late, I’m realizing that I do have quite a bit to offer. Not just regarding expatriate life, but for travel and experiencing other cultures of the world.

The Museu da Inconfidência on Praça Tiradentes in Ouro Preto

The Museu da Inconfidência on Praça Tiradentes in Ouro Preto

Perhaps my advice will appeal to someone in the same position; someone who isn’t moving to a city where they will find ex-pat groups to buddy up with for support, or where English can be used for communication in public. Or perhaps it will be someone that never thought they’d be an expat yet find themselves on the edge, ready to take the jump.

For those people, this is what I learned living for 2 ½ years in Maringá, the third largest city in the southern state of Paraná, Brazil.

 It will change you.

Regardless of how content you are with who you are at this very moment, an expat experience will change you. You can hold on to your core values, your beliefs, but you will return a different person.

Whether these changes are good or bad will vary greatly on what traits you value. You may become more balanced or more stressed; more peaceful or more easily frustrated; more concerned or more apathetic.

When we moved I left a job where I was constantly looked to for advice in my field of study. I guided people’s work, gave presentations, taught classes and didn’t mind being the center of attention one bit. I was also hotheaded, firm in my beliefs (also read opinionated), structured in some aspects of my life and go-with-the-flow in others. I always strived to be accepting and respectful of others and their time, easy to work with and approachable. Although I’m not sure that always showed beneath the other aspects of my personality.

I returned a person who enjoys being alone, loves quiet as much as noise, preaches less and does more while trying to understand that everyone has their own way. I can sit for hours and stare at a field or ocean thinking about nothing and everything all at once. I appreciate efficiency and service more than ever. I’m a slow and quiet driver barely showing the signs of road rage I had three years ago. In other areas of my life I’m more easily frustrated, and on many subjects I’m downright apathetic. I now can’t stand to hear constant complaining and have a much more positive outlook on life overall.

To be honest, none of it makes any sense. I’m a hodgepodge of different feelings and emotions that come together to make this new me. Many changes I like, others I’m working on.

Capybera in Parque Barigui, Curitiba-PR

Capybera in Parque Barigui, Curitiba-PR

Prepare to feel unique.

If someone asked me what is the one thing I miss about expat life it would be uniqueness. It is a feeling that can’t be described to someone who hasn’t experienced it. It has nothing to do with titles, status, talents or looks, and isn’t a better-than-thou or condescending type of a feeling. It is an internal feeling that brightens your mood and makes you feel special even if you are only special to yourself. When you travel back home after living abroad and realize how comfortable you feel in a room where you don’t understand the language, how much less materialistic you are, how grateful you are for all you have, you feel unique. There is no other way to put it.

You will be that person.

I’ll never forget my first trip back to the States when my Dad was telling me how he and my brother encountered a person out in public who came to them speaking an Asian language apparently seeking directions. They had no idea how to communicate with him or how to help.

I said, “Dad, that’s me.”

The person who couldn’t ask for what she wanted, who didn’t know where to go, who was giggled at by the girls behind the bread counter when she tried to order in Portuguese. I was that person. And if you move to a country where you don’t know the language, you will be that person too. It’s a humbling experience. Enjoy it and grow from it. You’ll never look at a person who doesn’t speak your language in your home country the same way again.

Farmer's Market in Curitiba-PR

Farmer’s Market in Curitiba-PR

Your level of acceptance will be tested.

I mentioned how accepting of other cultures and people I thought I was prior to our move, right? Notice I said thought. No amount of travel can prepare you for living in a new country, adjusting to local customs and having interactions with the people. You may think you are a big person like I thought I was; one who would never look down on another person or culture, or feel your way of doing things was superior.

Trust me, you will be tested. You may have your moments of being disgusted and hateful, and you may even feel embarrassed at things you said or did. Changing everything about yourself from what you eat, to how you cook, how you communicate and how you conduct day to day activities is challenging for anyone. You are bound to get frustrated. Acknowledge your shortcomings and ensure you grow from them so you can come out the other side as the accepting person you thought you were to begin with.

Visitor Information Center, Blumenau-SC

Visitor Information Center, Blumenau-SC

You can get all the advice in the world and it won’t change your experience.

Before moving, I received advice not to pass up any opportunity, to learn the language and to stay in the moment. When we set out for expat life I was bound and determined to follow every bit of this advice to enhance my experience. Some things I did, others I failed at and some I completely forgot about.

Moving abroad is an emotional experience and it can be difficult to simply adjust to daily life in general. What you do or don’t do has no relation to success or failures. You are you, and your expat experience will be different than that of anyone else.  Your life abroad will be both what you make it and what it was meant to be. Good, bad or indifferent the important thing is that you appreciate it and the person you have become because of it.

 

 Maringá-PR, Brasil

Maringá-PR, Brasil

Filed Under: Brazil, Ex-pat

Seeing Antigua through the Eyes of a Local

January 6, 2010 by Lori Leave a Comment

Photos coming soon! When we re-launched The 3 Star Traveler we lost many of the original photos from posts. Lori is gradually working her way through past posts and uploading the photos once again. Check back soon!

When we first arrived on the island of Antigua I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. This wasn’t because of a lack of sunshine or the smell of sea water in the air. Both were readily available. It wasn’t even due to the incredibly long line for immigration in which we waited about an hour. (They pumped air conditioning through the room so I couldn’t complain.)

What was it then?

As vague as this may seem I just didn’t get that hit-you-in-the-face, “this is Antigua!” feeling when we got there. Now that we’ve also been to Jamaica and St. Lucia, I couldn’t help but notice the lack of this pride and identity as my mind was assembling my very first impression.

On the drive to our resort I found myself wondering where the beautiful hillsides and mountains were. Not to mention wondering why our driver didn’t tell us one single thing about the island, something we’ve come to expect on our Caribbean vacations.

Despite all this, I wasn’t ready to give up on the little island just yet. I knew there was something special it had to offer that I was obviously missing.

As has become our rule for traveling to the islands, regardless of what hotel, house or resort you choose to stay at, get off it. Get out and explore, find something local, see and experience something not given to you by a trained service staff. We took our own advice, and we hired a local driver for a day.

IMG_5383

Big Roger of Roger Taxi & Tours

Roger, from Roger’s Taxi & Tours, took us on the Then & Now Tour. We were given the opportunity to see the entire island in six hours (it’s only about 14 miles x 11 miles). In addition we got lessons in history, immersion into some of the local culture and the evidence that I had, in fact, been missing something special about Antigua.

Yes, I know you can rent your own car. That is if you are familiar with, or brave enough, to drive on the left hand side of the road. That is one thing we haven’t chosen to tackle yet. And yes you can read all kinds of guide books that tell you about the island.

However, what you can’t get with these two options above is a friendly, welcoming Antiguan who has so many brothers and sisters on the island that he honked at one in almost every area we visited. You won’t get his brain either which is filled with more knowledge than you could ever find in a guide book.

My point? We are very happy with our decision to hire Roger for the day.

So what makes Antigua so special now that I’ve seen it through the eyes of a local? Do a few of these things on your visit and you will fully understand what changed my mind.

 

What to eat? Ducana and Caribbean rock lobster.

Ducana, salt fish and chop-up from Caribbean Taste

Ducana, salt fish and chop-up from Caribbean Taste

Ducana is a local dish of grated sweet potato, coconut, flour, sugar and spices which is wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed. It’s like a tropical quick bread/ dumpling. Mine was served with salted cod in a red sauce and chop-up, a veggie combo with spinach.  We ate it at Caribbean Taste near English Harbour.

The local lunch menu at Caribbean Taste

The local lunch menu at Caribbean Taste

Barbuda, the second half of the country known as Antigua and Barbuda, is a prime spot for Caribbean rock lobsters. These were much larger and more flavorful than any we’ve had in the Caribbean prior to this visit. There is nothing that can beat them grilled with butter and lime.

Caribbean Rock Lobster from Barefoot by the Sea Sandals Grande Antiguan resort

Grilled Caribbean Rock Lobster from Barefoot by the Sea, Sandals Grande Antiguan resort

 

What to drink? Wadadli.

The local pale lager is excellent. I’d highly suggest getting your fill while you are there. Wadadli was also the Amerindian word for the island of Antigua.

 

Which beach to see? Fryes Beach.

We saw many during our tour of the island, but my favorite was established early in the day. Fryes beach is located on the west coast of the island. Of course, the Caribbean is full of white sandy beaches and blue waters, but there was something about this place that took my breath away.

Fryes Beach, Antigua

Fryes Beach, Antigua

Fryes Beach, Antigua

Fryes Beach, Antigua

We were told that many trees lined the beach at one time, but a hurricane took them all down leaving them buried in the sand. Other storms have then passed and occasionally once buried driftwood will emerge only adding to the already beautiful scenery.

 

Which view to look for? Sleeping Indian.

You can see this from a different perspective at just about every point on the island. We saw it when out driving, but realized that the best view was from our hotel room on Dickenson Bay. The hills and valleys come together to look just like a sleeping person and is known locally as the Sleeping Indian.

View of the Sleeping Indian

View of the Sleeping Indian

 

What attraction is most worth a visit? Devil’s Bridge

If you see one thing in Antigua, this is my number one recommendation. This natural bridge truly shows you the power of the sea. While amazing to view, the entire atmosphere is incredibly somber as this is a place where many have committed suicide. The whole scene creates a sense of awe and appreciation as well as thoughtfulness for the souls that were lost in that spot.

Devil's Bridge, Antigua

Devil’s Bridge, Antigua

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sea and coast near Devil's Bridge

The sea and coast near Devil’s Bridge

 

 

 

 

 

What tropical fruits you are likely to see? I lost count after 15.

Having lived in Brazil, we are fortunate to have seen and tasted a number of tropical fruits. However, I’m not sure I’ve seen so many different kinds in one small area. We saw everything from custard apples to pomegranates to pomelo to mango to cashews. And don’t forget the Antiguan Black Pineapple. It will be the sweetest pineapple to ever touch your taste buds.

Custard apple tree near Caribbean Taste restaurant

Custard apple tree near Caribbean Taste restaurant

 

 

 

 

 

 

Antiguan Black Pineapple at a roadside stand

Antiguan Black Pineapple at a roadside stand

 

 

 

What fun history fact to remember? Well protected from attack.

Antigua is considered the gateway to the Caribbean. Because of all the little inlets and coves it was fairly easy for the British to protect the island from French attack. Therefore, Antigua didn’t change hands like other island such as St. Lucia which went back and forth between French and British control.

View of English Harbour from Shirley Heights

View of English Harbour from Shirley Heights

 

Which animals you might encounter? Mongoose, sheep, goats and donkeys.

The mongoose was brought over from India to kill all the snakes on the island. I find that so incredible. Tropical island, no snakes at all. We did get the chance to see one (safely from the van), but were warned we would never want to have an actual encounter.

Mongoose from a distance (he's right in the center of the photo)

Mongoose from a distance (he’s right in the center of the photo)

Sheep and goats roam the island eating at their leisure. You’ll find them resting on rocks and hills and likely trying to cross the road in herds. The donkeys, however, were much more interesting. I’m not quite sure I’ve ever seen a donkey on a rocky cliff next to the sea. These also happened to be the beautiful Bethlehem Donkeys with the signature cross along their back. It only added to my excitement that we were able to see a babe with its mama.

Donkey with baby grazing near Devil's Bridge

Donkey with baby grazing near Devil’s Bridge

 

What not to overlook? The Antiguan flag.

The blue and white colors along with the sun represent the sea, sand and sunshine of the island. The black represents the African ancestry and the “v” shape represents victory, while the red stands for the energy of the people.

 

Resources to plan your trip:

Antigua and Barbuda Department of Tourism

Roger’s Taxi & Tours

268-764-6331

rogertaxitours (at) gmail (dot) com

Caribbean Taste

Behind Dockyard Drive

English Harbour

268-562-3049

Filed Under: Antigua, Caribbean, Destinations

My 3 Best Kept Travel Secrets

December 11, 2009 by Lori 6 Comments

Photos coming soon! When we re-launched The 3 Star Traveler we lost many of the original photos from posts. Lori is gradually working her way through past posts and uploading the photos once again. Check back soon!

Katie of the travel blog Tripbase has started what will prove to be a productive game of blog tag. She is challenging us travel bloggers to create a list of our three best kept travel secrets. Once the lists are completed, a Creative Commons document will be compiled with all kinds of travel secrets. There is quite a list of experienced travelers that have been tagged so stay tuned. I’ll be sure to share the scoop when it’s done.

I was tagged by one of my favorite foodie travel blogs The Road Forks. Akila originally tagged my food blog Fake Food Free where I do talk about travel, but I think this post is a better fit right here at The 3 Star Traveler. It is about time I get things rolling!

 

My 3 Best Kept Travel Secrets

 

Ilha do Mel, Paraná, Brasil

Map of Ilha do Mel

Map of Ilha do Mel

When visiting Brazil, head south my friend. Past Recife, Bahia, Rio and Sao Paulo, all the way to the southern state of Paraná. Brazil is an incredibly diverse country; much more than I ever knew before living there the past two years. The south may lack the popular beaches and blue waters of the north, but it makes up for it in rich, diverse culture, amazing food and natural paradise.

Ilha do Mel (island of honey) is located about a 2.5 hour drive and 30 minute boat ride east of the capital city of Curitiba. An island free of motorized vehicles, this natural wonderland is by far one of the best kept secrets of the locals who live in the area. Beaches around the island are separated with rocks and vegetation just screaming to be hiked and climbed. I did just that on my 30th birthday last year.

island

Beaches and trails on Ilha do Mel

There are plenty of beaches to relax on, but the island also has landmarks to visit such as a lighthouse, fort and ecological reserve if you choose to do a little hiking during your visit. When you get hungry stop at Toca do Abutre near Braslíia. Enjoy the view while you snack on camarão frito (fried shrimp), casquinha de siri (stuffed crab) and ice cold cerveja. Plan ahead if you travel there during the South American summer especially around Carnival time as there is a daily limit for the number of persons who can visit and stay on the island.

Food

 

Patara Elephant Farm Chiang Mai, Thailand

elephantface

One of the elephants we worked with during our visit.

Thailand is not without plenty of tours that involve elephants, but none of them are like what you will encounter when visiting the Patara Elephant Farm. Let’s just say you will be doing a bit more than patting them on the trunk and your ride won’t involve one of those saddles that look like it was pulled straight from the circus.

The farm’s web-site states, “Yes, we are different!” and that could not be more accurate. This Thai owned and managed farm focuses on health-care and breeding management to ensure that the Asian elephant does not become extinct. They act as a rescue organization as well, taking in those elephants that have been mistreated through their use as a tourist attraction on the streets of Thailand. The funds generated from visitors help keep the farm up and running. 

Scrubbing the tusks of my elephant, Boonpak

Scrubbing the tusks of my elephant, Boonpak

If you take advantage of the Elephant Owner for a Day program be ready to work. Your day will begin in the middle of a gorgeous rice paddy where you will hear a story about the importance of the elephant in Thailand and just how shockingly close this creature is to extinction. You’ll be assigned to a trainer who will be with you for the day and finally you get to meet your elephant.

After feeding him or her and performing a daily health check, you’ll climb into the creek and give  the equivalent of a sponge bath. Next you are up, riding them bare back throughout the forests of northern Thailand. Up and down mountains, through clay-like mud and down primitive roadways. You’ll stop for lunch next to a creek while the elephants play in the water. Your feast will be some of the most traditional and authentic Thai foods you will likely have on your entire trip. Next you too can swim with your elephant and then you will be back up for a ride making your way to the farm.

Elephants playing in the water during our lunch break

Elephants playing in the water during our lunch break

Our picnic lunch

Our picnic lunch

The tour lasts an entire day from about 7:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. and is truly a life changing experience. I would, however, recommend a few things.  Do a couple weeks of core strengthening workouts to help your back during the ride (I’m really not kidding), wear bug spray and stay hydrated, but don’t drink too much as potty breaks are few and far between.

 

Experience Bali on the Morning Journey in Ubud

Many people go to Bali for the beaches, but having had plenty of beach on our Southeast Asia trip we chose to spend three nights in the arts and cultural center of Ubud. Yes, the center of the city is still highly touristy, but if you want to get a sneak peak of real life there make your way over to Tegal Sari and sign up for the Morning Journey. You can participate even if you aren’t staying at the hotel.

Inside the local art school, also a home compound

Inside the local art school, also a home compound

A mere 15 USD per person will enlighten you and inform you regarding the Balinese culture more than you ever thought possible. A local guide will take you to a village outside Ubud where you will visit many housing compounds including a local art school. There your new view of this amazing place will begin to form as you learn about the Hindu religion, cultural practices and local foods.

Speaking of local foods the second half of the experience involves a rather rugged hike through the rice terraces and forest. You’ll learn about rice production, identify fruit trees and may even get lucky enough to have a local farmer climb a massive palm tree barefoot to cut you a coconut for a mid-afternoon refreshment.

Rice terraces

Rice terraces

Local farmer climbing for a coconut

Local farmer climbing for a coconut

The day lasts from about 9:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. and you’ll finish up with a lunch provided by the hotel. You’ll leave wishing you had a few more days to spend with these wonderful people learning more intimate things about their intriguing culture.

 

Now I have to tag five other travel bloggers (which also happen to be five of my favorite reads) to share their 3 Best Kept Travel Secrets.

On the Fringe – The life of Global Gal in China with notes of ex-pat experiences and travel adventures.

Rubber Slippers in Italy – The ex-pat stories and travel tales of Rowena from Hawaii as she takes on all Italy has to offer.

Chez Loulou – Entertaining stories, beautiful photos and a taste of life in the south of France from a U.S ex-pat perspective.

Gastroanthropology – The social science of food along with tales of travel and cooking from a U.S. ex-pat living in London.

Kyle Hepp (Just Married Chilean Style) – Beautiful photos and straight forward stories from a U.S. ex-pat living in Chile turned world traveler.

Filed Under: Bali, Brazil, Destinations, Thailand

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Thanks for reading and joining us on the journey!

Thanks for reading and joining us on the journey!

Hi! We're Dan and Lori, world travelers and former expats. This blog is our way of helping and encouraging travelers like you to get out there and see this beautiful world!

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